Carpe Diem

I don't think you have to be a parent to love this article. People tell you in high school to enjoy every minute of your "glory days". They say in college that "these are the best years of your life." And certainly, they tell parents of young children that "it goes by so fast, enjoy every minute."

I think that we're just not able to live that way, no matter what point of our lives we're in. And hearing that this is as good as it gets only stresses the heck out of me.

So carpe diem, but don't think too much about it.

More later,

Tammar

p's & q's

We don't talk much about etiquette these days. It sounds so quaint, like something characters out of a Jane Austin novel would spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about. But that's really misleading, because etiquette is just a fancy word for feeling comfortable in social situations, knowing the right thing to do, the right thing to say, and above all, being considerate of others.

I just finished the most wonderful book about modern-day etiquette by Patricia Rossi.

I was lucky enough to meet Patricia when we were both speakers at the St. Petersburg Times Festival of Reading back in October. I'm a bit embarrassed that it took me this long to read her charming book. Patricia, besides being stunningly gorgeous, has this adorable Southern accent and is very self-deprecating. She has no problem poking fun at herself in order to make a point about how being better prepared would have saved her a lot of embarrassment.

Some of my favorite tips from her book are:

Try to note the color of someone's eyes when you speak to them. It helps you to meet their eyes.

Everyone feels awkward in large social situations. If you go in with that in mind and with the intent of making someone else feel at ease, you'll help yourself feel less awkward too. A really great tip was that you should only approach people standing alone or in groups of three.

To appear confident, stand up straight with your hands by your side. (After I read that, I realized how often I cross my arms across my chest. That signals unapproachability!)

There's lots of other good stuff, everything about the etiquette of getting a tattoo to going on a cruise. This is my new gift to recent high school and college graduates! (Although the rest of us could probably use this primer too!)

More later,

Tammar

2012 on the cusp

 

 So many wonderful things to wish for in 2012.

Here's to more time with loved ones and friends. More time being grateful for blessings and less time spent worrying. Here is to all the great books waiting to be read (or, ahem, to be written), the fantastic movies waiting to be filmed and seen. The magical moments that have yet to happen. The belly-hurts-peeing-my-pants-I-can't-breath jokes, waiting out there in the future, for their moment to be told. The trips, the surprises, the beautiful weather. It's all out there, in 2012, waiting for their turn to shine.

Have a fantastic new year, my friends, it's gonna be a great one.

More later,

Tammar

 

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas

 

To one and all, I wish you a very happy holiday season whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Winter Solitise or anything else that brings cheer during this dark and gloomy part of the year (although, it's not very dark and gloomy here in Florida, more like, hot and muggy, this Christmas Day set record heat index.)

We're all just muddling along as best we can and any reason to celebrate, to share each other's mixed up company, and just maybe make the world rest a bit easier is a great thing to do.

More later,

 

Tammar

Writing Quotes, part 1

There are so many amazing quotes about writing.Here's one of my favorites: 

Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.
-- E.L. Doctorow

It's lonely, and sometimes scary. But when you actually get where you're, you realize it was an amazing trip.

Happy writing!

More later,

Tammar

 

Thankful part II

     Several years ago, liberated from university life, I found myself on the other side of the Atlantic, living in Israel with Thanksgiving on its way. I had spent part of my childhood in Israel, but I was born in the states and spent most of my life in Virginia. Fearing that the homesickness I had so far kept at bay would win if I let that fourth Thursday come and go uncelebrated I decided that Israel or no, I was not going to let it pass me by.

            I called some friends, a few cousins, my grandparents, and explained the concept of the holiday. I swore up and down I was not making it up and invited them over to celebrate.

            “Only in America could they have a holiday for saying thank you,” my cousin sniffed.

            “Isn’t it great?” I asked. I had developed a remarkably impervious skin in my three months there. Sarcasm rolled off me like butter.

            The day of the big event I went to the store.

            The fact that Thanksgiving is not a holiday in Israel meant there was no pre-holiday rush at the grocery store nor was there a last minute rush on turkeys. The unfortunate part, which I only realized once I started shopping, was that the ingredients so necessary for the feast were not likely to be found in a Middle Eastern grocery store.

            Finding a turkey was easy. Sure the butcher gave me a funny look, whole turkeys not being a common item, but he found a small one for me and wrapped it in white wax paper.

            My grandmother, who came with me to the grocery store, was surprised when I cried out with delight at finding a small pile of sweet potatoes, racing over to pick up several tubers. She had never seem anyone buy a sweet potato before. My grandmother is seventy-three years old.

            Sadly, I relinquished stuffing as an item I wasn’t going to find ready made in a bag. I would have to make it from scratch, something I had only heard of as a vague possibility in the past.

            The only truly vital ingredient left was the cranberry sauce. There were no fresh bags of cranberries to be had for love or money and I was certain canned cranberry sauce was too much to ask for in a land that didn’t have instant stuffing. Lacking this crucial Thanksgiving sauce, I wandered the aisles of the grocery store considering what I could use. Cherry pie filling? Raspberry jam?

            Then I saw it. Tucked away on a bottom shelf, near the canned corn was a single dusty can of cranberry sauce. It was the only one in the entire store, perhaps in the entire country, and had probably been in that exact spot for years. I grabbed it.

            I rushed home with my loot and cooked all that day. By evening, after several international phone calls to my mother, one incinerated dish towel, and a tower of dishes in the sink, I had a true blue American Thanksgiving feast waiting to be served.

            My friends and family sat around the table and looked at me, slightly shocked.

“All this food?” a friend gasped. “Do you really expect us to eat it?”         
“You bought this in Israel?” my cousin pointed with nostrils flared at the bright orange casserole of sweet potatoes.

            “Now we give thanks for the good things in our lives,” I said, ignoring them all.

            Imagine the almost painfully embarrassing silence that fell around the table. Familiar faces looked at each other, doubtfully eyed the unfamiliar food, and skeptically raised an eyebrow at me, ridiculous matriarch. Did I really mean it? I did.

            Feeling the heat rise in my own face, I started.

            I am thankful to be here. I am thankful that you are all here celebrating with me…

So it began. We each said our piece around the table. They blushed as they murmured “Thank you”, and dug in to eat.

By the end of dinner the sweet potato dish was empty..

“Truly wonderful,” my cousin said, kissing my cheek on his way out the door. “Strange,” he said after a moment. “But good.”

            This cheerful, no strings-attached holiday didn’t solve any major problems. It did not affect the peace process or international relations in any way. But it did, for one evening, make everyone glow. By the end of the night everyone was feeling a bit friendlier and less embarrassed about saying thanks, about being grateful.

            The Indians and Pilgrims were not always allies, before or after that  famous meal. But in reflecting, it does not surprise me there was a lull in hostilities. Nothing seems to calm down anger like food. Perhaps it is no wonder the meal traditionally has turkey and several carbohydrate dishes in it - soporifics proven to be calming to the nervous system. Maybe what the peace process needs are long tables set up in the alleys of old Jerusalem, set with crisp linens, fine china, and sparkling silverware. Upon each long table there should be a huge glistening turkey and mounds of mashed potatoes. The seating should alternate Muslim and Jew. And then let them break bread together. Let them eat cake. Then wait and see if anyone feels like fighting at all.

Thankful

It's really easy to get caught up in all the things we want and can't have, all the slights and slings that are the emotional scrapes and bumps of our adult lives, but the fact is, everything is really pretty swell.

So in case things get crazy and I never get near my computer on Thursday, I just wanted to say, "Thanks" and "You're wonderful" and "Happy Thanksgiving."

More later,

Tammar

Wildlife encounters: Part I

This is the first of what is sure to be a many part series about Florida wildlife. If you've read my blog for a while, you know that I have frequent encounters with alligators. I regularly jog next to sunning alligators. I always scan bodies of water for a pair of eyes just above the surface. Only morons swim in fresh bodies of water near twilight. It's just something you accept if you live in Florida.

We have pythons. Last month, a python was found with a 76 pound deer in its belly. We have giant African land snails the size of teacup Chihuahas. And we have spiders. Really big spiders.

This guy, which I expect is going to knock on the door one day and introduce itself, is either a Wolf Spider or a Huntsman Spider, I really can't tell. If the photo doesn't fully do it justice, note the key my brave husband put next to it for scale. This is a MONSTROUSLY large spider. And rather common near these parts.

More later,
Tammar

Pam Jenoff

I had the distinct pleasure of hearing author Pam Jenoff speak yesturday evening. She's that rare person who on the one hand, floors you with how much she's accomplished in her life, let's see here: Degrees from George Washington, Cambridge (ENGLAND! A total dream of mine), and UPenn. Special assistant to the Secretary of the Army (doesn't that sound so glamerous and important?) She worked for the State Department as a diplomat, has written five novels, and has 3 children UNDER the age of 3! I mean really, is that not the most amazing life you've heard of?

And so just when you're ready to kind of crawl under a rock with shame at how little you (er, me) accomplished, Pam starts to talk and she's just the greatest. She's funny, and down to earth, totally open about the ups and downs of her adventures in life. She's the kind of person you wish you could have over for a cup of coffee and a long talk. She's that great.

I've got her latest book in my hands, and it's as impressive and accessible as she is. (Don't you just love the cover?) Go read!

More later,

Tammar

 

Quote of the day

I just love this quote on found on this blog. (Which is by the way, a fantastic site, always fun and inspiring. She's kind of living out my idea of what it would be like to be a writer living in NYC, except I was half convinced that no one actually did live that way, until I found her blog.)

 

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." -- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

USF's Hipple collection

I recently had the pleasure and honor of donating some of my books to the University of South Florida's Hipple collection, a special collection of over 2000(!) signed Young Adult manuscipts, Advanced Reading Copies, and published editons--basically the entire life cycle of a YA book.

 

It's the only YA collection of it's kind in the State, since while there are other special collections of YA manuscripts, all the books and manuscripts in the Hipple collection are signed. It was a labor of love started by the indominable and energetic Dr. Joan Kaywall (that's her next to me in the picture) in memory of her dear friend and mentor, the late Professor Ted Hipple. 

 

It was such a delight be around Dr. Kaywall, she just brims with excitment for YA literature and is clearly a woman devoted to her friends.

 

More later,

Tammar

Hello and welcome!

Hi everyone,

 

Welcome to my new (and improved) site! I hope you enjoy it and please keep stopping by for the latest on Miriam, Arden, Maya, and Leni (soon to be introduced.)

 

I love to hear from readers, so if you get the chance, drop a line and tell me what you're up to.

 

More later,

Tammar